insomnia again

Am I looking for problems where there are none? I feel disconnected and I have this vague sense of foreboding. I'm scared that something's starting up with Joe again and yet I don't have any real reasons. Just this uncomfortable feeling and the knowledge that he's playing pool again. And that he seems to be avoiding me. He says that it's my imagination--but is it? It seems kind of factual on my end. He isn't spending time with me--isn't really making any effort to, period. And doesn't seem to mind it. As he's so fond of reminding me, we live together. But sometimes it just doesn't feel that intimate. I can't remember the last time I felt really close to him. It's been a while. Maybe on our anniversary. That's been almost 3 months ago. Wow.

I'm so tired and I'm going to be even more tired tomorrow. Part of me hoped he would follow me, or ask me what was wrong--express any interest in my state of mind or concern for my feelings. But no. Of course not.

He wouldn't even say I love you. I miss having him say it every now and then. It seems like that's gone away too.

I just checked his computer, and there's nothing there. But I have this gut feeling--why? The whole Milledgeville thing is kind of messing with me. It's not like him to screw up like that. It makes me suspicious--what's he hiding? Where's he been? What's he been doing? Why can't I just trust him?