money sucks

I'm feeling really angry right now. I just got home from my appointment with Gail and we mostly talked about Joe and my money issues. I hadn't really thought about them as issues that much up until this point, but now I'm really mad. I realize that I'm being taken advantage of, and not even getting any gratitude or awareness on Joe's end of all I'm contributing. For example, he's never offered to repay me for the money I loaned him when he was having a hard time before we were married. In fact, he never even said thank you when I did it. He refuses to acknowledge that I make a significant contribution financially to this household, as much, actually more, than he does. He doesn't acknowledge that I have taken on his own debts and the needs of his children as our responsibility, even though none of it has a goddamn thing to do with me. He doesn't acknowledge that I've actually experienced a significant pay cut since our marriage--I who had been debt free am now covered up in debt, most of it his. That I used to have 5-600 dollars a month at my disposal and now I feel like I don't have any, that everything needs to be going to eat away at the debt I've now acquired as a result of this marriage. And I'm so ANGRY that he believes that our tax refund should be all his, when it was MY paycheck the fucking taxes were taken out of in the first place, and the first 5 months of the year those were being taken out of my individual, unmarried paycheck and so have not a goddamn thing to do with him. My appointment with Gail just made me really really angry and now I have to find a way to calm down and not be so that our weekend and our week are not completely ruined. I hate this shit.