morning

I'm waiting for the coffee to make before i rush through getting ready. Today is a busy one--faculty meeting at 7:30, full day, appointment with Gail this afternoon--it all seems so much. Last night i started working on my new plan--instead of focusing on Joe and what he does or doesn't do, I realized that I haven't ben being that great of a wife. so my new plan is to focus on that--to make myself a great wife, a wife he can feel is everything he would want. It won't always be easy. The hardest part is Hayden--finding a way to reach him, because I know that that is a big part of the distance between joe and me. But I'm also just trying to be better to joe, more thoughtful and less resentful of his work. I realized it must be difficult to work when you don't want to and when your wife is bugging you about it. I guess before, it always seemed like he wanted to be working, that he was choosing work over me and hayden. But lately, he seems less in love with his work, and more inclined to be with us. Maybe part of that work addiction before was related to the pool thing. I remember him saying he'd rather work hard all night so he could have the next day off which would just piss me off, because that just meant he'd spend the whole day playing pool Now that he's not really doing that, he seems less likely to fill his evenings with work if it's not necessary.