bad day

I feel like crying and have since early this morning when I got the email from Susan's mom. She's grilling me about my grading procedure, and now I notice that she is a middle school science teacher. I feel like I'm in the hot seat--like I'm about to get skewered. I talked to Judy, who was calm and comforting--not reactive like Kim, who suggested I "create" some documentation right away, which I can't really do. So now I'm going to try to meet with the mom and Judy, and hope for the best.

Then, add to the mix the fact that Hayden's hating me because two of his teachers told us the truth, that he hasn't been turning in his work. Once again, he has no reason not to turn in his work. Just shrugs and sullenness. So why isn't he doing it? He has no response. I feel like the bad guy though, even though I know I'm doing what's best for him.

I feel so out of sorts--I don't feel like I have a place anymore. Home itself is welcoming, but the people in it don't feel that way. I just feel lost and unwanted. The distance between Joe and me just seems to grow and I don't know how to stop it. I feel so angry, so resentful, and I'm tired of being the one who's trying. I'm tired period. I'm ready for some peace in my life, for some sense of order and calm.